Tales of the Turbo: Forbidden Fruit

So there I was, kinda racking my brain trying to come up with a humdinger of a new Turbo article. Something meaty, something cool. Something not a quick shot post reminiscent of NickNolte's "Peter Brackett " reporter character in "I Love Trouble" where he changed out a person's name and title from an old article to make a deadline. My retro game play has currently been put on hold thanks to the digital crack of Team Multi-player in Call of Duty 4 and the draw of going for "just one more rank".

As I sat in front of my computer monitor, staring at the illuminated LCD with a blank word processing page while rubbing red marks on my forehead to inspire creativity, my wife popped into the room and looked over my shoulder.

"Trying to come up with a new Turbo article?" she asked. I can hear the smirk on her face as my experience with NEC's little machine runs deep with her.

"Yep."

"Why not write about how you can't buy another Turbografx system again?" She said. She pivoted and left the room. I swear I could see her bouncing to near "Tigger" levels from the corner of my eye. Well, why not write about it? Slightly embarrassing life piece, who doesn't like that? It could also be used as aPSA for those whose nostalgia can run wild with their pocket books.

Growing up I was always taught that if I wanted something but didn't have the cash I should look at what I currently own and am not using/liking anymore and try to sell it. This mentality helped me acquire various Atari games by selling my He-Man,Sectaur and miscellaneous Star Wars/GI Joe/whatever figures, acquire new 2nd Edition Advanced Dungeons and Dragon books and give me cash to rent over 100 NES games over the course of a year. This little nugget of knowledge stuck with me. Not that it's a bad thing-why keep something around you don't like and can get some cash for it? This mentality, however, can get you in trouble with your significant other and/or your wallet should your fancies shift and you suddenly grow nostalgic for the item you sold and go out to buy it again.

That situation of selling and then buying again has happened to me numerous times but not as much as it did for the Turbo and the Sega Genesis. My first Turbo I described in my article "Exotic inSheboygan ", which I sold to a buddy of mine with a little prodding from my then girlfriend (who wasn't big into video games..make that at all). My second Turbo was purchased with the CD unit at Toys R Us for the proverbial "song". I played the heck out of what titles I could rent ("Last Alert" was one of the few I could get) and what I could buy ("It Came From the Desert"). Not long after I owned myTG-16 CD and showed it off to my friends (with pretty lackluster responses) the grocery store that rented the games sold their TG -16 stock. Toys R Us also seemed to liquidate their stock around the same time. With my friends getting more interested in the Super Nintendo and me getting more interested in PC games I sold that set up to a co-worker of mine, also at the proverbial "song".

It would be years before I looked at another Turbo system. Interest in PC gaming shifted back to consoles thanks to Super Mario 64 and the Nintendo 64. Other than being wowed by that platform's 3D graphics, my then 486-Pentium-Overdrived machine couldn't handle the new software and I couldn't afford a new computer (for the record the cost of the N64 was split amongst my friends and I). The World Wide Web began to pick up steam and I rode that wave likeThrilla Gorilla from "T&C Surf Designs", reading up on the latest of gaming thanks to the search power of Alta Vista followed by Lycos . I happened across a couple of then new classic gaming web sites and tumbled into some message posts talking about Turbo games. I read about titles like "AirZonk" and "Order of the Griffon ", titles I never had the opportunity to play or even heard about that sounded very cool. The interest in the platform, fueled by desire and a strong dose of nostalgia, was building and after scouring the web for a decent price I found a web site that sold the systems for about $50 used. Even eBay back then didn't have great prices on Turbo systems. This was probably around the year 1999/2000 when this purchase occurred.

I should mention that this was the period where I did a lot of selling off of game stuff along with buying. Money was tight and my views on collecting seemed to change on a weekly basis. If I wanted something game related, I sold something game related. My Atari 2600, 5200 and 7800 collections were sold on eBay while my Sega Master System was traded in to Good Deal Games for store credit to help get games for my newTG -16 I got from Turbo Zone. Also at this time in my neck of the woods it was a great time to collect because many small video stores were selling their old games. Since eBay and the concept that the stuff people tossed in their basements could be worth something hadn't kicked in, thrift stores and garage sales were blowing out games at dirt cheap prices yet. This made the "hunt" all the more fun and addicting. I had access to a ton of hard to find titles and cheap prices (like how I got all threeNES Panesean games for about $18 total complete). I was able to find Phantasy Star IV's, Pirates Gold, Panzer Dragoon Sagas, complete Sega Saturns (which I got for $30 at a Blockbuster sale) at really cheap prices. So I had stuff coming and going on a regular basis it seemed.

Oh, as a side note-slash-tangent, I was on my fourth Sega Genesis at this time. I had sold off my original in 1993 (with a model 1 Sega CD), purchased aCDX new around 1997, sold that in 1998 as it had a tendency to overheat (I played with it on the carpeted floor as I didn't have table space close to set it), bought another at a garage sale after finding some neat games I got nostalgic for at a different sale, sold it for cash towards aGamecube and then picked up another at Toys R Us for cheap along with a model 2 Sega CD.

At this point with my gaming fickleness, I'm sure many a normal wife would have gone totally bonkers. Mine is very understanding (or somewhat insane, the verdict is still out), knowing the gal that came before her tried to change who I was and nudged me to get rid of my gaming stuff to be "more adult" (which is funny coming from a person who seemed to want to live her life like a soap opera). So she supported my gaming habits. Oh sure I'd get the eye rolls, the head shakes...kinda what I get now with my gaming magazine collection. But she let me do what I wanted as long as it didn't hurt our bills, which remarkably it really didn't during our lean years.

That was until my selling cross hairs focused on the latest acquisition that I had owned for only a short while: the poor Turbo. As the start of the 21st century rolled I was getting more into modern games. For whatever reason the games on the Turbo just weren't clicking with me. So I told my wife that I was going to sell it off. She looked at me funny, kinda in an odd confused-mixed-with-anger pose.

"You just got this not too long ago."

"Yes I know."

"And it wasn't cheap, was it?"

Compared to all the other old consoles I've purchased over the years, no it wasn't cheap. I payed $50 for it, probably $25 for Order of theGriffon (which I didn't like because the password system was a complete pain-something I didn't know at purchase) and the meager few other games I got using trade dollars. I think only my 3DO I bought later on was more but not by much. As I've said before, I've *never* found Turbo systems in the wild and even today their prices are still hovering around that magic fifty bones mark.

"No, no it wasn't."

"Are you going to buy another one later, like your Sega's?"

Ooo, ouch. I figured that was coming but not laced with the hint of venom she released those words with. It was in the tone, something she and other women don't really realize they do. Must be in the other "X" chromosome.

"No. I just can't seem to get into it."

It took a little time for me to sell the system. According to her there were two other occasions that cropped up and the same conversation ensued. The next words I say is somewhat ad-libbed as I have forgotten the exact syntax and structure along with exactly how it was initiated. It's like I had been beamed aboard an alienmothership and had that section of brain sucked out through my elementary canal. I still can't believe I said them but the way my wife reassures me I did and for personal safety, I have to go with her story. After the thirdoccurrence she asked if I was going to buy another Turbo after selling the one I had I said the following:

"I promise I won't buy another Turbo again."

Never thought those words would escape my lips about anything I collect but apparently they did. And since the end of my eBay auction I was true to my word and didn't seek out another Turbo again. Sure I'd pine for one after reading about a game in a magazine or occasionally play a game on an emulator (which just didn't feel right, so playing this way was rare) but I never got serious with it again. Over time I'd dabble in other consoles (like the above mentioned 3DO and at one time an Atari Jaguar) but those odd balls would soon get the ax as I really didn't like most of the games that were available. I'd eventually pare down my game collection to just the ones I liked along with titles I knew I would play.

It wasn't until the Wii with its Virtual Console came out that I started really getting interested in the Turbo again. The titles on the service go for a pretty small amount compared to many of their physical counterparts. The Classic Controller even felt pretty good. To me the early lineup of Wii titles was lacking so I decided to dip my toe into that VC pond, spending some points by downloading "Bonk's Adventure". It's only six bucks, what harm could that do? Boy I sound like a recovering addict with a weak will, don't I?

Needless to say, I enjoyed my time with the prehistoric cave dude with the large cranium. Granted I didn't focus totally on the game like I used to years ago (and I had a good stack of long-ish modern titles I wanted to play through first) the save state option let me plug away at it over the course of a few months. The next bit of fun came when my wife powered up theWii to play some Wii Sports and saw the Turbo logo staring at her from the channel screen. She brought it up when I came downstairs for breakfast.

"So what's this Turbografx game on the Wii?"

"Oh, that's "Bonk's Adventure". I saw it was available and I was curious about it."

"Didn't you say you wouldn't buy..."

I stopped her in mid sentence, seeing that smirk starting to grow on her face. It was a sight reserved for what she's dubbed my "monkey ways". Don't ask, pet names are sometimes hard to explain in the context of a forum post. Besides, it was too early in the morning and I was lucky I had enough wit held over from last night to boldly interject.

"I said I wouldn't buy a Turbografx-16 again. Didn't say anything about games. Anyway I can't sell any VC games so I'm stuck with them." That first sentence was from *my* genetics-I can be so deviously literal.

She seemed okay with that. Like it was some sort of odd karmic payback for all the stuff I bought and sold over the years. We ate our breakfast and that was that.

So maybe thanks to the Wii the Turbo isn't so forbidden anymore? "It's always best to play on the original hardware" is the phrase often said, even by me from time to time. However that concept didn't go over well when I joked about the idea of buying a real console. I got "the look" many a husband has seen in their married lives. If you haven't seen it, either you're not married, are too early in your marriage or you're the proud owner of a pretty sophisticated robot that would make the Japanese green with envy. It's something that's hard to describe in words, so I'm not even going to attempt it. I don't even think there are books about it. Anyway that look told me that unless I tripped over one on the sidewalk or had one fall from the sky and hit me in the head, getting the "real deal" is a no go. But at least I can get the games without fear. Maybe. I'm debating on getting "Lords of Thunder", but I'm not sure how safe I'll be when I crawl into bed after that purchase.

And that's one to grow on.

Oh, as a final note/tangent, I'm on my sixth Genesis and fourth Sega CD. Yeah, I wonder how that works too.