The Nestlekwik Happy Hour for June 21, 2008

The Nestlekwik Happy Hour for June 21, 2008

Nes: Welcome one and all, once again; to the podcast you have to read … I’m so trade marking that phrase. This is The Nestlekwik Happy Hour, the show that snacks on danger and dines on disaster. We’re going to lay the smackdown in this episode so stand clear while Nestlemania runs wild brutha! Costume change!

A tag team isn’t a tag team without a partner, so let me introduce to you the co-champion of The Nestlekwik Happy Hour, “Malicious” MixMasterLar!

Lar: These spikes hurt. I almost poked my eye out putting these shoulder pads on, dude.

Nes: Well, you didn’t, so in the wisdom of Pro Wrestling for the NES, “A Winner is You.” It’s part of the gimmick so run with it and have some fun.

Lar: Were the jock straps really necessary, though?

Nes: Today’s show is pretty dangerous so we have to take all necessary precautions. We have pro wrestling on the agenda today, featuring a classic grappler under our reviewing knife, a wrestler-inspired top five and a feature going straight to the locker room and pulling out pros who definitely aren’t afraid to let people know they are gamers.

Lar: Sounds like a rush. But, before we get too far into this week's show, Nes, I'll like to steal some space from whatever it was you where about to say.

Nes: Well, I was going to kick off the show with an in-depth discussion about the foods I ate this week and how they digested, but go on. The people will just have to wait until another time.

Lar: Twix is a food, so this should be a suitable replacement.

Nes: Caramel or peanut butter?

Lar: Both. This past week a 13-year-old Florida DDR player named Leon Brunson, AKA Funsizetwix, achieved the highest possible score for the boss song of Dance Dance Revolution EXTREME (despite his usage of the SUPERNOVA version of the game, we'll still give him credit).

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/5CwGTX3qMOA&rel=1" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/5CwGTX3qMOA&rel=1</a>

As much as I tried, I couldn’t find a legit video that proved he isn’t the first person that young to AAA the song. So congrats, Funsize, for AAAing the legend of Max after three years of Single Digit Greating it and also for possibly being the youngest to do so.

Nes: The Black Flag is teh sux0rz as the kids would say these days. Congratulations to Funsizetwix. May you have much success in future endeavors.

Lar: Now all he needs to do is learn how to play Un Deux Trois and he'll be golden

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/HWYznfvXboo&rel=1" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/HWYznfvXboo&rel=1</a>

Nes: I got three greats on that song once. They didn’t have video cameras when I first started playing, so there’s no proof that I got a perfect score on Paranoia.

Lar: Didn’t you have someone paint an artist rendition of the results screen?

Nes: I’m afraid not. It wouldn’t hold still for more than 15 seconds.

NES Review: Tecmo World Wrestling

Tecmo World Wrestling Intro: The training is over, the lights are shining down, center stage, as thousands of clamoring people shout toward the combat zone. After a number of bouts, you stand toe-to-toe with the Tecmo World Wrestling champion and before you can take the time to dream about wearing his glorious golden belt around your waist, you’ll have to prove you are the best in the world by outmaneuvering, overpowering and outthinking the current champ. As the bell rings, the champ makes a beeline across the ring, arms outstretched, looking for any opportunity to drop you straight on your head and force you to stare at the arena ceiling for three seconds. Do you have what it takes to climb to the top? Are you willing to train to become stronger at any opportunity? Can you outmuscle the finest athletes in the world and proudly hold the title belt? Find out in Tecmo World Wrestling!

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/jJ1XCdOldm0&rel=1" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/jJ1XCdOldm0&rel=1</a>

Lar: Tecmo World Wrestling holds a place in my heart, as I used to play this all the time back when the game was $49.99 new for the NES. I had the chance to play it again after a few years (and a decade) of not really having the chance to find a working cart and found that it's a fun little game for an hour or so.

The graphics are about what you'd expect from a Tecmo game in 1990: The game is colorful, yet blocky. It still runs smooth without any glitches so it's by no means bad, but I’ve seen a lot better. Thankfully, the controls are pretty good for an NES wrestling game and you’ll find your character has no problem moving around and throwing a few jabs at the opponent. The downfall in the gameplay lies with you being forced to grab the opponent every time you get near him. After you’re both locked on each other, you perform a command to pull of a number of real wrestling moves. The problem is - when fighting against the computer anyway - who pulls his move off feels completely random. It's a problem that most early wrestling games have, but this one just seems a little too random to me. Another annoying aspect of the game, for someone trying to play, at least, was the announcer. While mute, there's always someone who wants to read off what he's saying when they wait for their turn.

Speaking of multiplayer, that is the highpoint of the entire game. The one-player mode is pretty boring and takes way too long to play but a five-minute match with a friend is pretty fun. The game lacks any real reason to keep playing by yourself but having rivals next to you adds another point to why the game is so fun. The downside is that matches sometimes feel too long but you could always chat while playing since it isn’t that hard of a game. Loners didn’t really get their money's worth back in the day.

The game also has a gym segment where you can train your fighter and make him stronger for the next match. It's a lot like the training found in the nearly any boxing games today except here it's all just “tap A repeatedly.” For an NES game, that's pretty nice to have, though, as it also adds some flavor without making the play feel like it's trying to avoid the fighting segments. It's only in the one player mode, sadly, but it's a welcome addition.

Nes: While WWE rules the roost of professional wrestling today, on the NES the organization's games were total jobbers. With the cinematics involved in Tecmo Bowl, the company's success with the sports title resulted in a span to nearly every sport imaginable, including pro wrestling (don't laugh: In Japan, puroresu is treated as a legit sport). It makes perfect sense really - use sporting cutscense to recreate the theatrics and drama of the business.

Tecmo World Wrestling features 10 varying wrestling personas to choose from (the champ Blue King isn’t selectable), each with two unique specialty maneuvers in their repertoire. If this is sounding a lot like Nintendo's Pro Wrestling title, then you would be most correct as the title plays very similarly. The control is nice and tight with combinations of buttons and directions on the D-Pad pulling off an assortment of throws, slams, strikes and holds fresh from the basics of pro wrestling. While you might have to question how much of a rip-off the title is from Pro Wrestling, there are actually a number of facets that set this title apart from the rest of the contenders.

The graphics are much more in-your-face than most NES wrestling titles, sporting slightly larger character models and when a critical move is slapped on to a weak opponent, an exciting cinematic zooms in the action and shows the move being executed in detail. The bottom of the screen always features a text-based commentator, perhaps marking the first-ever true real-time commentary in a sports video game, and while it's hard to read while playing and becomes quite repetitive, the attention to presentation in the title shows the developers knew what makes pro wrestling tick and really shines as the best of the NES grapplers.

Just like Pro Wrestling, Tecmo only features one battle tune, however, it is quite memorable and adds to the drama of the match. Unfortunately, its sound isn't nearly as impressive with very few clips serving as the game's result to massive slams and drops. The title's animation is fairly on the weak side outside of the cinematics but, thankfully, the moves do allow a lot of flexibility - German and northern light suplexes can be bridged for pins, throws can launch opponents outside of the ring where players can bash the opponent's face into the corner post and submission moves wear the opponent down for an easier beating.

Also unique to the game is the single-player training mode where mini games allow players to pump some iron and raise a few stats that affect the wrestler's performance. As always, the inclusion of a two-player mode ups the replay value of the game considerably, however, it's sad to see a tag team mode eluded inclusion. Multiplayer is where the game truly shines as in later stages versus the CPU, as Lar mentioned, the computer will magically lay waste to your character when the chips are down and seems to control nearly every grapple. While the title is hardly perfect, looking at the lineup of weak grapplers for the NES, Tecmo World Wrestling is a candle in a dark room and is probably only one of two wrestling games on the system that are definitely worth your time.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/Zz2lrCQws3Q&rel=1" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/Zz2lrCQws3Q&rel=1</a>

Overall: We’ve already said it, but we need to say it again. Most NES wrestlers either completely suck or are barely playable, so Tecmo World Wrestling is offered little competition on the format. The graphics are bigger than in most titles, the presentation is top-notch and there is a ton of flexibility to found in the characters’ movesets, with everything staying true to the real deal. The training and commentary in Tecmo World Wrestling are possibly video gaming firsts in sports titles and have become necessary staples in most sports games today. Some weak sound and animation and a frustrating single player experience place the title at being far from perfect, but it is enjoyable nonetheless and completely trounces nearly all other wrestling titles released on the U.S. NES.

GemuBaka Final Review Score: 3 out of 5

Lar: Wow. Some of those Tecmo characters were pretty crazy!

Nes: Pro wrestling has always been about character so it’s no surprise that wrestling video games have their fair share inspiring characters.

Lar: You talk like we’re about to enter into our top five segment for the show.

Nes: Indeed! While every game that releases today is chock full of real-life athletes, video games give us a gateway to the wrestlers people can only dream of – larger than life, crazy mo-fos with moves that completely defy logic and would kill any given person in reality. Take a look at these five fictional wrestlers that have made a recent impression on us:

The Happy Hour Top Five Fictional Video Game Wrestlers

#5 Akira Dragon
Probably the most underrated wrestler in this top 5, Akira Dragon is your all around Japanese fighter with some strong throws and quick jabs. If Dragon’s likeness and moveset sounds familiar, it should as he is modeled after Japanese legend Antonio Inoki. While not the best in any category, his all-around style is great for new players to Tecmo World Wrestling and vets alike. There's no denying that his Super German Suplex or his Back Brain Kick isn’t awesome, and he shows no real weakness at all. Both of his special moves deal massive damage and many a weakened opponent has fallen victim to a three-count resulting from a bridged suplex that they are just too beaten up to kick out of.

#4 Starman
A tall, slim, and purple-suit wearing lucha libre may not sound like the ideal "tough guy" but he is one of the best and most popular wrestlers of the NES era. He's pretty fast and leaves any opponent dizzy from his flying Star Kick, which is a huge back flip dropkick, Marshall Law style. Flying around is no problem for him, and many of his moves are airborne, including his devastating Flying Cross Chop, executed at full running speed. Pro Wrestling was also the first wrestling title to incorporate lucha libre and Japanese-style dive attacks to the outside of the ring, so even opponents who spill out of the ring aren’t safe from the high-flying antics of Starman.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/tHHZU1IcJjk&rel=1" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/tHHZU1IcJjk&rel=1</a>

#3 Bigfoot Joe
Not many people remember the arcade cornfest that was The Main Event and those who do may not remember it fondly. However, no one can argue the title featured an outlandish cast that parodied many of pro wrestling's greatest stars at the time. The big league didn't find it too humorous or flattering, though, with the characters resembling its stars too much, resulting in a lawsuit squashing the game from arcades. If there was ever a case of turning a menacing character goofy, though, Bigfoot Joe is the ticket. If you have any knowledge of pro wrestling, just imagine this: King Kong Bundy + pink afro. While the roster as a whole was quite a laugh, nothing makes one of the '80s biggest heels more hardcore than a pink afro. While goofy on the outside, the big man was still all business in the ring as slamming on the cabinet's one, single "wrestle" button resulted in all sorts of feats of strength such as the brutal bearhug that made the opponent's number of lost health tally faster than the numbers on a gas pump.

#2 Mike "Macho" Haggar
Yes. That Mike Haggar. When Capcom developed the arcade grappler Saturday Night Slam Masters, it couldn't forget about its OG, Mike Haggar, who was prominently displayed as a mascot in the title. Localization made the title quite a hard act to follow in many areas, but the true intention of Slam Masters spotlights Haggar before stepping into office at Metro City (as opposed to the U.S. version's claim of the title taking place after his term). As always, though, Haggar was a big, beefy powerhouse in the game, still featuring the mighty jumping piledriver that would reduce an opponent's energy to nil. Through multiple tours of duty in Final Fight, it's tough to point out any other character that has suplexed and slammed more faces than Haggar and nothing says badass more than the ponytail he sports in Final Fight 3. We're still waiting for the Haggar versus Andore showdown in Saturday Night Slam Masters III to take place in Pontiac, Mich., in front of tens of thousands of fans.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/vjBaLrg-ZH0&rel=1" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/vjBaLrg-ZH0&rel=1</a>

#1 Hizelshutat von Ludwig
We've all seen some flashy entrances in our time. HBK riding the zipline, Wrestlemania III combatants wheeled into action on miniature rings, Stone Cold Steve Austin crashing through glass plates in a pick-up truck - even before most of wrestling's most pyrotechnic and flashy displays, Blazing Tornado's Hizelshutat von Ludwig knew how to make an entrance memorable. After trouncing what is thought to be the final opponent, Ludwig makes sure the player doesn't get the night off quite yet, storming the arena from his own private helicopter. Descending from a rope ladder, players are pitted against the game's toughest foe and while his entrance tops most seen in those days, he was certainly fitting as an end-game boss as he was a d*** in the ring.

Nes: Those old wrestling games were crazy and the computer was always completely unfair.

Lar: Tell me about it. It’s a good thing so few games these days are that hard. If you want to blow off some steam, you should check out these games next week, our top three picks of the week.

The Happy Hour Picks of the Week for the Week of June 23, 2008

Pick of the Week Runner-Up #1 - Rock Band – Nintendo Wii
Lar: Wii owners will get to rock on with their friends starting this week with the release of Rock Band. The game looks like it's PS2 counterpart so far: It won’t have online play, it wont have downloadable packs, it wont have create-a-rocker, and it will most likely have a striped-down tour mode. Still, the game itself is still worth getting for the mutiplayer aspect (although no online play really limits that) and for its high replay value. My biggest problem with this port is the Guitar Hero III controller will not work with the game.

Graphics aren’t a big deal with players, but it's worth pointing out that the 360 and PS3 versions pretty much smoke the Wii's efforts in recreating the game. That's not to say it's bad or anything, but they aren’t as great as we've seen before. Also, the Wii version will also have 5 bonus songs that come with the disc:

"Dirty Little Secret" - The All American Rejects
"Don't Look Back in Anger" - Oasis
"Roam" - The B-52's
"Rockaway Beach" - The Ramones
"Roxanne" - The Police

And to help Wii and PS2 owners out, Harmonix announced that they will be releasing append discs they call “Track Packs” for both systems. These packs will have about 20 songs each and the first will be out July 15 for $29.99. The track list contains some of the already released downloadable songs in the 360 and PS3 versions

30 Seconds To Mars - "The Kill"
All American Rejects - "Move Along"
Blink 182 - "All the Small Things"
Boston - "More Than a Feeling"
David Bowie - "Moonage Daydream"
Faith No More - "We Care A Lot"
Grateful Dead - "Truckin"
The Hives - "Die, All Right!"
KISS - "Calling Dr. Love"
Lynyrd Skynyrd - "Gimme Three Steps"
Nine Inch Nails - "March of the Pigs"
Oasis - "Live Forever"
Paramore - "Crushcrushcrush"
The Police - "Synchronicity II"
Queens of the Stone Age - "Little Sister"
Ramones - "Teenage Lobotomy"
Smashing Pumpkins - "Siva"
Stone Temple Pilots - "Interstate Love Song"
Weezer - "Buddy Holly"
Wolfmother - "Joker & the Thief"

Pick of the Week Runner-Up #2 - Alone in the Dark – Nintendo Wii, Playstation 2, Xbox 360
Lar: While GemuBaka as a whole is looking forward to the game listed below, I personally cant wait to get my hands on this awesome game Atari is simply calling Alone in the Dark, which is a sequel to 1992's Alone in the Dark made for the 3DO and Mac.

The game takes place in a New York City that is falling apart. You wake up in a room after being asleep as a result of drugs, not knowing what on earth has happened to you. From almost the get-go, all kinds of wild stuff starts happening and you are forced to survive zombies, shadows and burning cars ... all the while trying to figure out who you are and what is happening.

The game is trying hard to break the mold and set a new standard. Instead of choosing first- or third-person views, you can (for most of the game) freely switch between them and there aren’t any menus, instead, to retrieve items, you look down into your inside pockets of your jacket to get what you need. Items will also play a huge part as you can mix or add to almost any item you have. The majority of the game is also freeroaming and there are more than a few ways to complete a goal. The area you play in is New York's own Central Park and if it looks like you can pick it up, burn it, break it or otherwise mess with it, then the game will let you.

The game is also introducing a new chapter system, which gives it a DVD/movie feel. If you are stuck on any given part, then you can simply skip it and go further in the game's storyline. It's an interesting concept that comes with one drawback and one condition: You'll miss out on the story progression of anything you skip, which will more than likely hinder your progress and you
Won’t be able to skip to the last part of the game without most of the game complete. While it looks handy for when you just can’t kill that boss, we have to wonder if it'll hinder the replayablity - Atari only promises 10 hours of gameplay to start with and not many are strong-willed enough not to use a feature like that when times get bad. But, overall, I’m definitely interested in seeing where this title will go.

Happy Hour Pick of the Week for June 23, 2008 - Final Fantasy Tactics A2: Grimoire of the Rift – Nintendo DS
Nes: Being billed as the third official entry in the Ivalice Alliance series, A2 follows up the 2003 GBA release to bring the Tactics series to the DS for the first time. The grid-style tactical combat will return. While released some time ago in Japan, Final Fantasy fans will no longer have to dive into Japanese text to understand the game and jump straight into the turn-based action.

Of course, selecting a proper mix of character classes to take into battle can make or break players on the battlefield. Also, fans of the Tactics Advance title will be happy (or maybe not) to know the Judges make a return in A2. The Judges are a panel who decides what attacks, spells or methods are banned during the duration of certain battles, with punishments for breaking the law and rewards for successfully following them to victory. A2 adds “clan privileges,” which power-up your party and violating a law nullifies that privilege instead of the severe penalties found in Advance.

Of course, fans of tactics games or Final Fantasy will probably need little persuasion to snatch up A2, but Square-Enix is definitely upping the ante here with improved graphics, sound, touch-screen controls and additions to the game play. Considering my girlfriend is still playing Tactics Advance, it would be safe to assume Tatics is no stranger to replay value and should last Fantasy buffs for many months down the road.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/VQnyse6IOJQ&rel=1" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/VQnyse6IOJQ&rel=1</a>

Nes: It always seems pro wrestling goes straight to video games, but, you know, what would happen if video games went pro wrestling?

Lar: I’ve never thought of that, actually. Wouldn’t it be classic if we saw some of the things we’ve grown up with in video games in pro wrestling?

Nes: It would be fantastic and luckily, we’ve tracked down a number of references and odes to video gaming in pro wrestling. It’s good to see some of these bonafide athletes aren’t ashamed to bring their hobby into what they do for a living.

There’s Some Video Game in My Wrestling!

Jimmy Jacobs' Contra Code

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/xynL1Hkzeas&rel=1" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/xynL1Hkzeas&rel=1</a>

Nes: In a move that originally gave someone 30 lives, Jimmy Jacobs' adaptation of the move is apt to take 30 days off someone's life. The move is actually called "Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Select, Start," but obviously that would be a lot of work for commentators, so the name is whittled down to favor Jacobs' all-time favorite game series. He gets massive bonus points for thinking about naming a specialty maneuver the “007-373-5963.”

Lar: Up, up, and then down, down. That move looked like it hurt a lot. I bet the opponent never even saw that one coming.

Nes: Top-rope maneuvers are sneaky like that. It's a really good thing "The Code" doesn't operate like it does in Gradius III. I'd really hate to see Jimmy Jacobs' self-destruct as he would leave behind a great-looking Bad Dudes and Super Contra cabinet.

Super Duper Mario

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/YDLYXBcVblg&rel=1" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/YDLYXBcVblg&rel=1</a>

Lar: Well whom do we have here? At first I was like "you cant tell me he's about to fight" but he just crawls right on up there. He moves pretty swift for a big guy, and I’m shocked the hat didn't fly off. I wish that arm-throw was in Super Mario Bros. 3 ...

Nes: Pro wrestling wasn't always about 24-pack abs, my friend, and who better to play a Super Mario imitation than the rotund Super Duper Mario. He even has the hammer! A lot of territories had some pretty corny gimmicks, but I'm disappointed there were no turtle shells involved.

Lar: If shell kicking is what you desire, ask and ye shall receive ...

Player Uno

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/qp5mUrIbZ_Q&rel=1" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/qp5mUrIbZ_Q&rel=1</a>

Lar: This vid proves that you can take a theme too far. But I’m liking the sound effects imposed in the video. This guy may take Mario to new heights but he's pretty good at what he does and you have to give respect to that pause move.

Nes: If you pick a gimmick, you have to stick with it to the end. I hear if you press the A or B buttons on his leg, he punches and kicks uncontrollably. I wonder if someone punched in the Konami code, would 30 Player Unos appear in the ring?

Lar: It's doubtful, but I would love to see that happen as that would mean a 30-Uno battle royale is possible.

Popular Electronics

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/G9pgQyP7_8M&rel=1" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/G9pgQyP7_8M&rel=1</a>

Lar: Oh, wow, my chest hurts just seeing that- geez, man. They say most of wrestling is fake but there's no way that was planned: Who in their right mind would want to agree to get hit by that?

Nes: Someone who collects a paycheck. Wrestling is planned, but definitely not fake and the tag team of "Gameboy" Max Morrison and "The HYPE" Jimmy Shalwin aren't afraid to show it with their collections of game-inspired moves such as the Game Over, Insert Cartridge, Cheat Code and more.

Lar: Regardless, that man's game is over.

Nes: Perhaps he'll flash a couple of times and disappear?

Create-a-Wrestler

Nes: It’s no fan that along with Player Uno, there’s some gaming fans among Chikara, so thus enters a video game staple to every wrestling game after WWF War Zone, the create-a-wrestler.

Lar: Very interesting. Ultimo Breakfast. There's just too many things on this show that remind us of food and make us hungry.

Nes: Have I ever showed you some of my created wrestlers? “Beefcake” Barry Wonderbread was also a hit with people. I think it was the zebra-print tights and the bowtie.

Lar: I think I’ll pass.

Cody Rhodes

Nes: Most wrestling fans noticed this right away, but it wasn’t until recently that gamers have picked up on the golden emblem imprinted on current WWE Tag Team Co-Champion Cody Rhodes’ boots.

Lar: That would be the Triforce!

Nes: Indeed! Power, wisdom and courage. Too bad those haven’t been helping him and Hardcore Holly win matches recently.

Lar: Huzzah!

Nes: While you don’t see this on television, though, I find it very interesting that Shelton Benjamin is quite enamored with gaming. The reason I see that way is this: Every year prior to Wrestlemania, the WWE holds a gaming tournament where Superstars play the latest edition of THQ’s Smackdown vs. Raw. Shelton won the competition so many times in a row, he was actually banned from playing this year.

Lar: That sounds like domination to me. It’s bad enough I’d hate to legit fight him, but now I don’t stand a chance in video game form either? I’d like to see him play Tekken. I’d so totally take him.

Nes: That’s the fighting spirit! Keep up the character because you’ll need it for next week. I can’t get my deposit back on the spandex costumes I ordered for the next show so we’re stuck with it.

Lar: Wait, what? You have a costume for me that is actually worse than this?

Nes: Oh, please, it suits you perfectly. You should wear those shoulder pads in a DDR tournament some time.

Lar: I’m afraid eye gouging and low blows aren’t allowed in DDR tournaments.

Nes: And that’s what’s wrong with the sport! Full contact DDR! I can see it now …

Lar: Oh, no. He’s going to go on a tirade. We’ll see you next week folks! Run! Before you get caught up in his fantasy schemes!!