CONFIDENTIAL. 0600 hours: Tan forces captured Bravo Company Commandos. General Plastro has new weapons of mass destruction: magnifying glass, M-80 firecrackers and the garbage disposal. This is a job for Sarge. Requisition M-60s, shotguns, bazookas, flame throwers, grenades, sniper rifles, mortars, mine sweepers and plenty of ammo. Good luck, soldier.